What He Says / What He Means

Linda asked me to put this on the site.

** "I'm going fishing." Really means: "I'm going to stand by a stream with a stick in my hand all day, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

** "It's a guy thing." Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

** "Can I help with dinner?" Really means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

** "Uh-huh." "Sure, honey." "Yes, dear." Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

** "It would take too long to explain." Really means: "I have no idea how it works."

** "We're going to be late." Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

** "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard." Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

** "That's interesting, dear." Really means: "Are you still talking?"

** "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I\'m doing." Really means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

** "I can't find it." Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

** "You know I could never love anyone else." Really means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

** "You look terrific." Really means: "Please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving." ** "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." Really means: "No one will ever see us alive again."