Quote of the Day

Search the Daily Quote Database

You may search our entire quotation repository using this form. Restricting your search to various categories or by date will often speed up your search and return a more pertinent result set.




     (Date Format YYYY-MM-DD)



     

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity."

Sigmund Freud

  Category: Freedom

Results Returned:  74

The following quotes appear under the "Funny" category:

Lesbian Joke 5

"What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur Traders."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2008-03-05   Category: Funny

Lesbian Joke 6

"What is a lesbian dinosaur called? .... A Lickalotapuss."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2008-03-05   Category: Funny

Lesbian Joke 7

"What do you call a lesbian with long fingers? Well Hung."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2008-03-05   Category: Funny

Lesbian Joke 8

"Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned? She was found face down in Ricki Lake."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2008-03-05   Category: Funny

Lesbian Joke 9

"How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table doesn't have balls."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2008-03-05   Category: Funny

Lesbian Joke 10

"What do you call lesbian twins? Lick-a-likes."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2008-03-05   Category: Funny

Lesbian Joke 11

"What's the definition of confusion? Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2008-03-05   Category: Funny

"A psych patient listed her allergies as "rock and roll, AC/DC, penicillin, cotton, and FIRE". #595 (0) - Oct 1, 2009 04:39 AM by Ash"

Ash -- http://www.ertards.com/view/Complete_Idiots/595  (10/1/2009)

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2009-10-05   Category: Funny

"Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2009-10-05   Category: Funny

"Some People Are Like Slinkies. They're Not Really Good For Anything, But They Bring a Smile To Your Face When Pushed Down The Stairs."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2010-06-01   Category: Funny

"Surgery is really just a very accurate stabbing."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis /  2014-03-04   Category: Funny

""Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind.""

Benjamin Franklin -- Pamphlet called "Fart Proudly."

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-01-24   Category: Funny

"Half the people you know are below average."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"OK, so what's the speed of dark?"

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"I intend to live forever ... So far, so good."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it."

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

"If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?"

Steven Wright

Submitted by: Admin /  2018-02-16   Category: Funny

Daily Quote
Listings (456)
Categories (11)
Search Quotes
Add a Quote
Random Image
0021-05.jpg
Daily Quote

"a friend with weed is a friend indeed..."

Unknown

Submitted by: gtgillis / 2013-09-12
Category: Weed

Upcoming Events
There are no upcoming events